Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Downward Spiral of Carb Use

This household needs a dietary shake up. Bob and I are always talking about, FOREVER talking about getting healthy. We both have body issues. One of us is gaining (has gained) some weight. One or both of us is getting older, which leads to softer.

Our original plan included buying loads of exercise equipment, reading up on exercising and getting a couple of exercise videos. Unfortunately just owning them has not benefited us. Apparently you have to use the stuff you buy. Hence the garage sale we had two weeks ago...that stuff took up a lot of room.

Meanwhile there is very little weight loss going on. As the head chef in the household my job is to prepare healthful meals. Being vegetable challenged makes this job difficult enough. Add to that the fact that Bob and our youngest daughter have decided carbs are the enemy and it is pert near impossible. (Yes, I said pert near.)

Currently, anything you read these days will support the 'carbs are bad' theory. I am no doctor but will attempt to explain the vicious cycle of eating carbs. This is a realistic dramatization. It is not pretty. Graphic details may be involved. You have been warned.

Carbs act as a sugar in your body. They give you energy, but if you don't use all that energy then the leftover sugar is stored as fat. If you eat cereal for breakfast, potato chips or white bread for lunch and pasta for dinner (and who doesnt'?) chances are carbs could be contributing to your weight gain and general poor health.

The reality is carbs are like cocaine for your body. You ingest a high carbohydrate meal, your body gloms on to all that sugar (insulin) your organs get a rush of energy and they are pretty dang excited for this. They are revved and ready to go. But, the brain is the ultimate control freak. It says to your organs we are not going anywhere, I have to work behind my desk. Or sit in class. Or spend two hours on Facebook. Or lay in bed and watch horribly sad movies on Lifestyle channel. Most often this latter activity is done while consuming more carbs.

Not that I know from personal experience.

The brain is like a sick drug pusher. It lives to control. It encourages the eating of more carbs. It loves the taste of ice cream. It adores a delectable loaf of garlic bread. And pasta? The brain is convinced it is Italian and must consume pasta daily or its old Italian grandmother is going to come over and box it around the ears. (The brain is a big talker, but throw an itty bitty Italian grandmother in the mix and it changes it's tune.)

Meanwhile, the poor organs are suffering. The constant up and down rush that carbs is handing out is taking it's toll. Heart disease, diabetes and death are their future. But the selfish brain doesn't care man, it says "More cookies please!" The hand is a helpless middleman. Eventually the organs are addicted. They now signal the brain for the need of more, more and more carbs.

The brain has created a monster.

What the brain fails to realize is without the organs it will not survive.

Sadly, most brains don't realize this until one of the organs is hospitalized.

Once hospitalization occurs the brain is full of remorse. Apologies are offered up to all the organs, not just the injured one. Promises are made. A new resolve is found. In lieu of flowers, the brain brings fresh vegetables, the organs laugh and see the desire to change is there, eventually they all go home. The brain discovers there are Good carbs and Bad carbs and starts to reform.

And after a few blissful days the brain says, "We've been good for a whole month! Let's celebrate with cake."

Problem is, there isn't enough cake in Texas to satisfy the craving the brain has. Sadly, the organs have been going through some tough withdrawal symptoms, they too, want the cake.

And there you have it. Promises made are long forgotten. Jokes are made. "Remember that time we had vanilla yogurt with a little chocolate syrup on it and pretended it was dessert?"

Intervention is needed.

Tomorrow "The Brain in Rehab" will chronicle the life changes needed in order for the organs to survive. Will the brain succeed? Is it too late already? DOES THIS MEAN WE CAN NO LONGER HAVE COOKIES?

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