I keep coming back to why do I want to blog. So bear with me as I work this out.
I want to blog so that I can be rich and famous.
Not so rich that it takes the fun out of blogging and not so famous that my personal life is no longer mine.
Okay, okay, I realize I am not going to become rich and famous, just kidding about that. Sort of. I think everyone wants their fifteen minutes in some way shape or form. If blogging took me down the road to fame I'd be okay with that.
I want to blog as a way to journal.
Typing is so much faster for me than hand writing that the idea of a journal online was very inviting. But, I don't really want to put my internal messed up- ness out there for all the world to read.
Well, not really.
I'd gladly put all my internal chaos out there for everyone to enjoy. Judge away, that's what I say. It might make you feel better about yourself as in "Sheesh! I am not THAT screwy." Or "Whoa, talk about a whacadu." Or even. "Is this chick for real?"
But, in my journals, I am complaining. There is someone or some thing (something that someone is doing) that is eating away at me. I wouldn't be able to gripe about it or them without them knowing and inevitably someone's (several someones) feelings would be hurt. A public blog cannot be my journal.
I blog because I like to write.
Yes. That's a good one. One leetle problemo. I feel I have to come up with something interesting every single fricken day of the week! For example. I write one good blog, get a lot of positive feedback and then the next day am stymied at the key board because there is no way I am ever going to be able to write anything that good again today (maybe not ever!) and then people will know I am not that interesting and well, that is too much for my fragile self esteem to bear.
I blog because I want to be a better writer. Practice makes perfect so writing everyday is the best practice. I blog because I think there may be a book in me...if I don't ever write a book pretend I didn't say that.
I blog because I have a good sense of humor.
I am funny... LOOKING! I can find the humor in most things and I was once told that humor worked well for me as a way to deflect from what is really going on. Actually, I was told that more than once. Like that's a problem? Besides, I make you laugh, we forget we were talking about me and we can move on to you. (So tell me, what do you think about me?)
I blog because I am going through life by the seat of my pants and wonder if any others out there feel the same way. Maybe we can help each other.
I struggle with wrong and right. I struggle with God and my faith. I struggle with my children, my step children and that blended family thing. I struggle with eating vegetables. I struggle with gravity and the effect it has on my aging body. I struggle with procrastination. I struggle with alcoholism. I struggle with divorce. I struggle with my husband. I struggle with low self esteem. I struggle with depression. I struggle with money. I struggle with how many pictures of the cat on my iPhone are too many.
No, I don't struggle everyday. But stuff comes up on the radar. There are other things too but I think I will make that another blog: "101 Things I Struggle With". In bullet point.
Like everyone, I have good days and bad days. Don't get me wrong here, I know I am blessed, I don't really have any major complaints, I know there are people out there that have much greater things to struggle with. I mostly have it under control. I am mostly fine. But sometimes I hear others talking about their day to day stuff and they are struggling too.
So, I blog because of a combination of all the above. I suppose if I blog and it helps just one person get through just one bad day it will be worth it. Even if that someone is me.
(Oh, and I blog because Bob provides excellent fodder. Bob is funny....SMELLING!)